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A Billionaire Dinosaur Erotic Short Story

by Miriam F. Martin

A warm bowl of minestrone soup and a cool glass of lemonade. Everything Millie Samson needs to get away from the weirdness of working for a billionaire dinosaur shapeshifter.

Really, she welcomes anything to keep her headache under control.

Because finally the boss allowed Millie to hire a new assistant. Rhianna interviewed well. Living up to her full potential might be another thing altogether.

If you enjoy quirky short stories that poke fun at billionaires, dinosaurs, and shapeshifters, be sure to read Hunting the Billionaire Dinosaur.

Bonus short story: What Happens in the Copy Room.

Copyright © 2019 by Hermit Muse Publishing

Cover Image: PH.OK/BigStockPhoto

Cover Design: David Anthony Brown

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

All characters, events, and settings are fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidence.



First things first

Millie Samson leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes. She shut out the noises all around her. The hustle of men and women in expensive suits rushing to business meetings they didn't want to attend. The click-click-click echoes of high heels on marble flooring. And, somewhere, a baby crying. Because of course her day wouldn't be complete without that.

It was enough that she wore her most powerful looking powder blue pinstripe suit, with a yellow scarf tied loosely around her neck, and cream colored stockings with the lines up the backs of her calves.

If there were a day Millie needed to look and feel powerful, it was today.

But no way she was wearing high heels. After three rounds of aspirin and too many cups of bitter black coffee, Millie didn't feel capable of being taller.

And the day was only half through.

The balcony of the mezzanine level held a number of small cafes and shops, with plenty of windows looking out over Gadfrey Park across the street. This was where Millie sat to get away from the constant weirdness of the office. She sat at one of the window seats, with a bowl of warm minestrone soup and a cold glass of lemonade, by herself and her thoughts, gazing out at the park.

Some days she'd go across the street and walk during her lunch break. Today, though, was hell. No time for a walk in the sun.

First, there was Rex Monahan, the boss and a dinosaur shapeshifter. Babysitting him was a full time position, never mind handling all the issues that came up with his office full of female assistants.

And second was the new girl. Finally, after much pleading and cajoling, Rex allowed Millie to hire an assistant just for her. Somebody to help with the human resources functions. To answer phones. Deal with the ever growing mountain of paperwork.

Problem was, Rhianna was one of those candidates who looked good on paper and interviewed well, but didn't live up to her full potential.

Granted she'd only been with Monahan Investments for all of two weeks. She was still on the lower end of the learning curve.

Rhianna had been Millie's second choice, and Rex's first. "We need more gingers," he said. "Can't have too many gingers, you know." And of course, he won that argument, stupidly enough.

Not that Millie didn't fight him on that one. After all, this was her assistant. But when the first choice candidate took another job in another state, Millie didn't have much choice.

Millie raised her head from off the window. Stretching and rolling her neck, she decided it was time to go back to the grind. Nothing more aspirin and caffeine couldn't fix. Or a power nap at her desk, if she could keep Rhianna out for a half hour or so.

And then poof—Rhianna sat down in front of Millie. She had no idea where the new girl even came from. It was as if Rhianna just materialized out of freaking nowhere. The redhead woman was out of breath and flushed deep red from her forehead to her half-revealed cleavage. Her hair was done up in a loosely put together bun, strands of hair falling out everywhere. The grey business suit was the only thing holding her together, and even that just barely.

"Where did you come from?" Millie said, half laughing and half wanting to give Rhianna some menial task to make her go away awhile longer.

Rhianna sucked in air. Her bosom heaved. Clearly, she'd run all the way to the mezzanine. Couldn't she have used a cell phone? Jeez...

The first words out of her mouth weren't much more than squeaks. Millie told her to slow down.

"Oh God, it's bad," Rhianna said at last. "Super bad. Real shit fucking bad."

Millie pushed aside the minestrone soup and lemonade. She placed her hands on the table, not far from Rhianna's, in case she needed comfort. The worst scenarios came to Millie's mind. Maybe Rex tried to grope her for the first time, and things didn't go well. Or, even worse, Rhianna saw him shapeshift. That was never a pretty sight. Millie would never forget the first time she saw that. Some things could never be unseen, no matter how hard you tried.

"What's the matter?" Millie said.

"Rex... He... Well, shit. Look out the window."

Millie looked out the window. At first she had no idea what Rhianna was pointing at. Despite how obvious it should've been.

Out in the middle of the park, stomping through the botanical garden, was Rex Monahan.

In his velociraptor shape.

A line of police cars were already forming a barrier around the main entrance to the park. Cops stood behind the cars with pistols and shotguns at the ready.

"Ah, shit," said Millie. She stood up and made a bee-line straight for the elevators, hoping like hell Rhianna was smart enough to follow. Luckily, she was. They wouldn't have much time, hopefully it wasn't already too late.

Rex wasn't likely to cause too much trouble as long as there weren't other people around. A squirrel might get hurt, best case scenario. But if the police fired at him... Or a jogger took a wrong turn down the park trail... Or a bus full of school children happened to be somewhere in the park...

Millie pressed the elevator button rapid-fire until the doors dinged opened.

The entire reason for having a cubicle farm full of beautiful, young women was to curb Rex's shapeshifting, which was tied to his sexual appetites. As long as he had a fresh supply of tits, ass, and pussy, he stayed human. (Well, reasonably human.) But if he went without... Sometimes he could last a couple weeks. Sometimes a couple days was all it took. Just depended.

The stupid elevator doors finally opened. Millie stepped in and pressed the button before Rhianna had both feet in.

"What do we do?" the redhead said. "Just undress in front of him and he reverts back?"

"Something like that," Millie said. "But we need precautions. And backup if we have any."

The doors dinged open. The whole damn office was empty by the sounds of it. The ladies took long lunch breaks, because they could and not like they worked real jobs. Even the secretary operating the phones was out. Millie kept her cursing under her breath. Rhianna practically clung to her arm, understandably nervous as hell.

Millie led her to the women's restroom. In the back corner next to the farthest stall was a door that, for some other tenant, might've been a broom closet.

She unlocked the door with the key she kept on her wrist.

"Holy shit," Rhianna said. "I had no idea you kept a small arsenal here."

Inside the closet was a collection of non-lethal weapons—a shotgun with beanbag rounds, a Taser, dart guns with tranquilizer ammo.

"We don't use these often," Millie said. "You were a sharpshooting champion, weren't you?"

"Yeah, in college. A little out of practice."

Millie loaded a dart gun and handed it to her. "Well, I hope those skills come back to you quickly."

She picked up the shotgun, loaded a beanbag into it, then grabbed the Taser and stuck it in her purse.

"Aren't the police going to arrest us for going outside with this stuff?" Rhianna said.

On the back of the door was a corkboard with some paperwork pinned on. Millie grabbed the papers.

"We have licenses for all this stuff," she said. "Have to when dealing with dino shapeshifters."

"Oh my," said Rhianna.

Millie slung the shotgun over one shoulder, feeling like a female version of Bruce Campbell in a schlocky movie. She felt like she should say something cheesy. A pithy one-liner to lighten the mood.

"Come on, baby," she said. "Let's hunt some dino dick."

Rhianna shook her head in confusion. "Umm... What?"

"Never mind," Millie said. "But I suppose it's time to show you the second most important part of our job here."

"What's the first again?" Rhianna said.

"Keeping the boss fed with plenty of pussy," Millie said matter-of-factly. Well, put that bluntly, it did sound kind of stupid.

"So the second thing is?"

"Keep him from hurting other people," Millie said. "Or himself, for that matter."

She winked and sped-walked to the elevator.

It's like the DMV, but with shorter lines

Gadfrey Park was a lovely place in the summer. Wishing well ponds, fountains, shade among the pines and oaks. On quiet mornings, Millie would walk along the curving trail with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand.

Today wasn't a quiet day at all, with the police cars and ambulances waiting in a circle around the park. Millie showed the licenses for the weapons to the officer guarding the barricade, and he let her on through.

"Wow," Rhianna said. "That seemed kinda easy. Walking past the barricade like that."

"Cops don't like dealing with shapeshifters," Millie said. "Even the SWAT team is slow getting here, if you haven't noticed."

"Yeah, I was wondering about that."

Up ahead, something fast moved among the trees. A glint of scales flashed. And then he was gone among the bushes and foliage.

Millie pumped the shotgun. "Some of the licenses are for the weapons."

"Wait, only some?" said Rhianna.

Millie smirked. The new hire was catching on. "Yup. One of the licenses is for indecent exposure and public sexual acts."

Rhianna laughed. Millie didn't blame here.

"Do I just go to the DMV for those?" the redhead asked. "Or can I apply for them online?"

"Oddly, you apply through the wildlife department, like for a hunting license. Funny how our government is organized."

They shared a moment of laughter. Felt good to be going into a potentially dangerous situation and have a chuckle as if nothing really mattered. Just another day at the office.

"Okay," Millie cracked her neck, putting on her more serious expression. "Once we have him down, i'll start masturbating. That should hold his attention."

"What can I do?" Rhianna said.

"You don't have to do anything, if you don't want. Maybe tranq him again if he needs it."

Rhianna opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but then closed it. Millie didn't blame her for not wanting to appear over-eager. She gave the redhead a smile and led the way down the path.

With any luck, he'd find them. He was well trained in some respects. Though if he'd been better trained, he would've stayed in his office where nobody could get hurt. Millie laughed again.

"What's funny?" Rhianna whispered.

"Oh, nothing," said Millie. "I'll tell you later, after my blood pressure is back under control."


And then Millie saw him. The black and brown scales. The red bloodshot eyes. Rex. He roared and jumped out from the trees.

Millie took aim.

And shot him with a beanbag round right between the eyes and above the nose. Enough to stop him in his tracks. That was going to hurt when he was human again. At least Millie hoped so.

Rhianna shot him with a tranq dart to the neck. Millie tossed the shotgun aside and drew the Taser.

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